Our Story
We welcome you to our story of love and loss. If you are here looking for support, we are happy to help provide connections. If you are here because you know child loss or suicide loss, we are so sorry that an ache we would not wish on anyone has made it’s way to your home. Regardless of why you are here, we are happy to share this space with you for support, to say their names, to find light in the darkness, and to nurture hope when it feels like all hope is lost. We welcome you to transform your relationship with one who ran ahead.
Our story started in the winter of 1994 when I met my future husband at a church lock in. From the moment we met we knew we were connected and yet, we had no idea what that deep felt connection actually meant. We tried dating and needless to say, we both had ex-partners that kept popping up which made us both decide we were better off as friends.
What started off as friends turned into being close friends and whenever our hearts hurt, we ultimately would reach out to each other. It took awhile for us to catch on to what apparently everyone else knew….we were meant to be together and were destined to be more than friends.
On March 21, 1998 we both said yes to each other in front of close family and friends. The day of our wedding was plagued with rough weather: rain, snow, and ice. Multiple people told us that to have that on your wedding day is a sign of good fortune. Whether I believe that or not, here we are almost 25 years later doing our best to leave the world better than we found it.
Along the way we started our family. In December of 2000 we were blessed with our first son, Isaac, and not too long after that our second son, Gabriel entered the world in November 2001. Yes, you are reading those dates correctly. Being pregnant for almost two years was pretty amazing and quite the experience. An experience that gifted us with two sons and endless adventures.
Over the years we devoted ourselves to our family and were committed to watching our boys grow up together. Being close in age our boys were not only siblings, they were each other’s best friends. That relationship was evident the older they got and most often wherever one was, the other was not far behind. As parents we watched them do sports together, work together, hang out in the same circle of friends, and ultimately we witnessed how having a good friend that was also your sibling could be an anchor on the hard days of life. It brought great peace to both of us knowing our boys had each other and that they knew what we as parents would do to support them as life unfolded.
Our family was full of love.
Our family had a future that involved watching our children grow up and our children watching us age. In our future, the four of us were together.
Our family had a future where a silent enemy was written into our story. We did not see that silent enemy until it arrived on our doorstep. Isaac ran ahead of us on September 23, 2019 and we never saw it coming.
Our story went from having two children alive and well, to having suicide kick in our front door.
Our family continues to hold the loss of our son. Isaac’s death has forever changed us and continues to change us daily. There is not a day that passes where he is not thought of or missed.
We would be lying to you if we told you we knew this was going to be part of our story. Our story is one of incredible love and devastating loss.
Our story is full of befriending grief as a lifelong companion.
Our story is full of transforming our physical loss of a child, a brother, a grandson, a nephew, a cousin, and a friend into one where we see his energetic footprint regularly.
We never believed that we would be part of a club that no one wants to be in and yet, here we are in our journey with two distinct time lines: life before Isaac died and life after Isaac died.
We were not prepared for life after child loss.
The transformation that was waiting and stirring in our spirits is best described as something only you can live as it is so individualized. Welcome to the human experience of love and loss.
Successful partnerships with businesses, schools and other non-profits are key to advancing the He Who Laughs mission. We believe it is through active partnerships that the stigma surrounding mental health can be positively impacted, suicide awareness is increased, and loss of life by the act of suicide is decreased.
If you would like to partner with He Who Laughs and positively impact mental health, email April at admin@hewholaughs.org. April is also available to publicly share Isaac’s story and how together, He Who Laughs is positively Championing Mental Wellness.
